Juice Lawn: The Cheese Amplifier

I've decided to turn to a random word generator for post titles when my Ouija board produces inconclusive results.  This has the disadvantage of making post titles read like spam.  I am pleased.

J’ai décidé de m’adresser à un générateur de mots aléatoires pour intituler mes posts quand mon planche de Ouija ne produit pas de résultats satisfaisants.  Cela a l’effet de faire rassembler les titres des posts au spam.  Ça me plaît. 

Playing with markers--ah, what precision!

Jouer avec des feutres fins—quelle précision!

Lana del Rey, "Diet Mountain Dew"

This is Merp College.
C’est Merp College.

The City that Didn't Mug Us

For New Year's Eve, Sibling and I traveled to New York City to visit our respective friends.  Even though we are both old enough to order the New and Improved Dink Bros. 3-Way Toaster/Cell Phone Holder/Dog Walkers from late-night television (six easy payments of $19.99!), our mother could not get over her fear that something terrible would happen to us in the city.  She was even afraid that, I don't know, Sibling would spontaneously leap out of the bus to NYC while we were still on the highway.

Our father had a stronger belief in our ability to take care of ourselves.

Although Sibling put the bag with his lunch in the cargo section under the bus 

(rendering it inaccessible), 

and although we both missed the ball dropping

(because he was dealing with a nosebleed and I was on the subway),

and although he forgot to charge his phone on the day we were supposed to come home

(making it difficult for me to yell at him to get to the bus stop on time), 

nothing terrible happened.  It was a small miracle.