Sunday, July 15, 2012

Food Theft: YOLOOOOO

Most students at the College of Merp choose the full meal plan--21 meals per week--because the food is quite good and it's nice to have someone cook for you and wash your dishes.  But a significant minority of students choose to get 14, 10 or 5 meals per week.  The idea of buying a reduced meal plan is theoretically that you will buy your own food and/or sleep through breakfast every day.  Maybe sleep through the weekends too.

This rarely happens in real life.  Those who sign up for the reduced plan often do so with the insane grin that's shorthand for "YOLOOOO!"  Instead of having 21 opportunities to get 21 meals, a student now has, let's say, 10 opportunities to get the same number of meals.  Sneakiness, pockets, not making eye contact, and creative use of potential containers are popular strategies in this campus-wide challenge.  Last year, one student actually wrote an article in the school newspaper on how to, ahem, maximize your ratio of food obtained to food paid for.  

Naturally, Dining Services did not think this was so great.  (This is probably one reason for Shimesky's limitations.)  And I have to admit that I side with them.  On the other hand, they should be flattered that we think the food is so good that we want to steal it.  Other colleges don't have this problem.

Honestly, I think it's totally cool to take a snack for later when you're eating a meal that you paid for.  There's a difference between getting your money's worth and smuggling a rice-cake bag filled with sandwiches out of the dining hall by hiding it in your pants leg.  Most students on the full meal plan don't eat all of their meals, anyway--c'mon, early breakfast on Sunday is for squares.

With all of this in mind, I have drawn up a few images of Acceptable ("Yes") vs. Unacceptable ("No") use of dining hall resources.  My devoted readers may refer to these in times of internal strife.




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